I was listening to another Mel Robbin’s podcast after getting back from Nats, this one on finding your north star(s).
Essentially, it’s the process of figuring out what you want to figure out. Who am I? What do I want to be? Who do I want to be? But with a focus on the process, not the destination, because there will always be a new north star, a new thing to learn, to research, to do, to create, the desire to be more that you want to be. There isn’t a destination, per se, more a circle, repeated, working through the creative process in an attempt to learn and grow.
The process involves three steps - emulation, assimilation, innovation.
Emulation is exactly what it sounds like - “to match or surpass a person or achievement, typically by imitation”. A bit of pretend play. Yes, you’re copying, yes, you’re imitating, but in my opinion, it’s not copying to be that person, it is to teach your brain a different way of looking at things, handling things, etc.
From there, you move into the assimilation phase - “to take in information, ideas, and culture, and understand them fully”. You need to fully understand what it is about that person/thing that is your north star, the thing(s) you want to do or to be. Consume it, practice it. Think the “10,000 hour rule”. This should be the longest part of the journey, the most insightful, the most eye opening. It’s about growing and learning about yourself as you fully assimilate into what it is you want to be. Look at who/what your north stars are and take those aspects of each of them and “fake it ‘til you make it” until it becomes part of who you are.
And the last phase is innovation. You aren’t what you’re pretending to be anymore. But that doesn’t mean you’re done. As Mel’s daughter describes in the podcast, “it’s a circle within a circle within a circle within a circle”. In the end, you are the north star, this whole process is about expanding on yourself, and innovation is really just the beginning of the next circle.
So who are my north stars?
Going through this process, I had two clear people for where I am in my journey right now; two very very different people that inspire me in completely different ways. My north star(s) will likely change, quite often, even. But even in these past few days as I’ve been thinking about this, and beginning to work on the emulation phase, it’s been pretty eye opening. Sure, it requires a bit of “acting”, a bit of pretending, but in a sense, that takes off some of the pressure from thinking I need to get it right.
First, Morgan Riddle. She’s a newer follow for me; I learned about her watching Break Point on Netflix and then fell in love with her YouTube and Instagram. She’s super genuine, gorgeous, has amazing style, and isn’t afraid to tell it how it is. As for why she is one of my north stars? Her confidence and her vulnerability. She’s talked about her mental health struggles and the things she does to overcome those, or how sometimes she just needs to play a part to trick her brain. And really, I admire how hard she works, and how she surrounds herself with people who do the same, all while traveling around the world to support her boyfriend who is a pro Tennis player (which btw, their relationship is truly inspirational with the support they show each other in their respective careers). Basically, I want her openness and vulnerability, her courage and her confidence, her not give a fuck attitude.
Second, Kelly Johnson. Kelly works/ed for Cupcakes and Cashmere, which, to be honest, I don’t really like as a brand/shop; but her personal brand, her personal career choices, I admire. She is living a life similarly to what I ultimately want - leaving the standard 9-5 (C&C) to do part time consulting (still with C&C, but also another local to her brand) paired with some real estate (her fiancé is an agent) and interior design work. She writes a pretty great Substack as well, Curious Times. The work she’s done to set up the life and career she wants is something I am actively looking to do myself, and I think there’s a lot for me to learn and incorporate into my own attempts to do something similar.
That’s it, my north stars. Who knows what these will look like in a month from now, two months; regardless, I think it’s a really interesting and fun way to look at who I want to be and how to achieve that.
xx.